If I Could Catch Up With You

If I could catch up with you,

I would have the chance to tell you many things,

that I've been thinking all this long,

to tell you;

if I could catch up with you.

For now it's quite hard,

imagining I would be able to catch up,

it probably would become real sometime in the future,

for you are the sky,

and I'm the patch of grass,

that's how far the journey would be between us.

If I could catch up with you,

I would have the chance to tell you,

that you worth everything good in this earth.

If I could catch up with you,

I would have the chance to look at the sky,

in a closer distance.

Important and Less Important Babble

Bismillahirrahmanirraheem.

Assalamualaikum wbt. Salam 17th Ramadhan !

So this morning I decided to have a sneak peek of my blog. If you think that's a trick for bloggers to gain their viewers rate, then just don't think that way. I like to view my blog without signing in. Sometimes re-reading what you've posted would do you good, ya know, like you stumbled across some grammatical errors, then you actually laughed a bit at your own writing because you find it somehow funny, then more grammatical mistakes, yeah those kind. Unfortunately, instead of expecting to see my oh-that's-a-big-picture-for-a-header, a red background with a white pop up 'warning' sign/note/whatever you call it, greeted me. It stated something like this: "beware, malware found due to website --- that is linked to this page, and this could harm your computer." I was shocked. And a bit disturbed too. Because I had tweeted my blog link and of course I expected some people would like to click on it, and I wonder if they also being greeted the same thing. This is just an embarrassment. And how could it be less than horror to find out that your blog is like a spam, and go harm other people's laptop. 

I'm sorry. Really hope you guys didn't open my blog this morning. But I've already 'fix' that, some of the websites that I promote in my blog are spammed I guess, and I've removed them. So please, trust me on this. Insha Allah you won't find any of that kind of warning anymore. But if you do, you can always tell me. 

So the important babble ends here.

And other less important babble begins here. Hiks.

Have you ever stumbled into a different path in your life, it happens so suddenly, you never expected it nor welcome it, but then it happens; well of course your future is unpredictable, but you could expect something, right? What I mean is that you hoped for the best in your life, but otherwise occurred. Of course, you know you would be tested; trials and tribulations, you know that you'll come across all that, and most importantly, you believe, you have strong faith in His Words, he won't burden you with something you couldn't bear. (2:286) Just that, you need to be strong, in order to be able to encounter unexpected things in your life, and you need to learn to accept your fate.

Just like what I said. I need to be strong. I need to change the unexpected path into something that I would live with it happily. You can be happy, you still can be strong despite you're having other important thing going on in your life. I know I need to take this positively, and realize that He give you this kind of trial so that you will be more grateful to Him, so that you won't spend your time unnecessarily, so that you will be more responsible handling your life affairs. 

Anyway, I've decided to share with you Reflection episodes of Imam Suhaib Webb. Spend at least 10 minutes to watch one part. I'll post other parts later in other entries. This is of course, important. 

'Till then folks!

Keep Your Eyes Open

Everybody's waiting
Everybody's watching
Even when you're sleeping
Keep your eyes open

The tricky thing
Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score

Keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around , oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown and nobody comes to save you now
But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open

Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open


Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping

Keep your eyes open.

- "Eyes Open", T.Swift

So I've Returned.

Bismillahirrahmanirraheem,

Assalamualaikum wbt.

I've disappeared too long I guess. Some of you could have questioned whether it's true writing is still my passion, like what I've always said in my introduction. Well, it's not true that if you've temporarily stop blogging means your passion of it started to fade away, I mean, we're talking about an era where journals are still a- I won't say ubiquitous, but still a good companion to some. I also used to say I get easily 'bored' when I started to slowly stop doing something, means I'm actually bored with it. Honestly, sadly to confess this but I was just plain lazy. Long holidays, home alone and just being a cook and cleaner do me no good. Well, not saying that helping to cook and clean the house for my family does no good to me, it helps of course, me being a 'all grown up' and I do need lots of practicing, sooner or later if I accept someone who had been accepted to take my 'hands for marriage', all of these would at least help me a bit. No, I'm saying that long holidays do me no good. I'm not productive. But then again, who am I blaming?

You see, regret and wasting time always come together. No, you waste your precious time, then you'll be regretful of it. To take care of time is something, a huge responsibility actually. To practice what you've learned is also another thing, a remarkable thing if you succeed to practice your knowledge wonderfully. What I meant is that, you know how precious time is, you've been taught about how precious it is, since pre-school, then moving on to school years you have Usrah mates or Halaqah mates, Adik-Beradik-whatever that you want to call it, and Naqibah, who never failed to especially foster Islamic teachings, not to mention you always, constantly reminded yourself that you should always be grateful, that your parents taught you well. It's not the matter of not obtaining any knowledge or teachings, what matters now is how you practice them. First thing first is time management, and you know how important it is. To your life. How you'll be questioned later by Him, what have you been doing with the time, with the free time that He gave you.

I realized that when I'm in the university, and my schedules were packed with lots of activities, here and there, I managed my time quite well, I could still ensure that my taklifat were ticked most of it, alhamdulillah, and I would say now that to compare my time being spent then and now, back then was well spent. Look at how vulnerable I am, to lots of things that weakens me more, that breaks me, and caused me to become much more fragile than ever. I realized that the free time that He gave me, I should've use it wisely. Regret. 

Over 270 bones are created beautifully by Him to enable humans to functioned well. Approximately 10,000 tonnes of wrought irons are required for the Eiffel Tower to stand firm in the heart of France. And I need friends to always, constantly remind me that this life is not forever, that it would end, sooner or later, for me to become more human; for me to become more realistic, for me to become more alive.

His beautiful Words are beyond wonderful, indeed, they're magical, but sometimes you need a friend to constantly remind you to open the Holy Book, to tadabbur, to read with much warmth and fear, 'till your cheeks are wet with tears because those Words touches the heart. Sometimes you need a friend to constantly remind you to recite the Ma'thurat daily, so that you'll be well protected by any source of evil. Sometimes you need a friend to constantly remind you to do good, and ensure that your time is always been well spent. Always, may sound too unreal, for you would do mistakes, but trying to become better; improving, may get you to 'always'. 

So I have free time. Besides, doing what I'm supposed to do , and ensuring the taklifat is well-followed, I know that I could also get 'bonus' by providing good insights for people. You know you could blog and get lots of 'rewards'. Yo know you could instagram and get lots of 'rewards'. You know you could tweet and still get lots of 'rewards'. It's just the matter of what you post in your blog, or your instagram or your twitter.

Masha Allah it's 16th of Ramadhan already. Please pray for me.

Good Night Folks!

Aku Seorang Pendosa

Ku terduduk lama,

Suasana hening di sekelilingku,

Ku mendongak ke langit,

Dan air mata mulai berlinangan di kelopak mataku.

Hatiku sebak,

Memikirkan dosa dan salah silap yang menggunung tinggi,

Memikirkan nikmat-nikmatNya yang telah kukufuri.

Aku telah melampaui batas,

Lalai dan tidak bernas,

Dalam mengurusi  masa,

Yang terasa amat laju putarannya,

Dan aku seperti ditinggalkan sendirian,

Bersama dosa-dosaku.

Aku merenung jauh,

Mengenang coretan-coretan cerita,

Yang terasa indah dalam kamus hidupku.

Terngiang-ngiang pesanan ibu bapaku,

Terpancar wajah-wajah naqibah dan ahli usrahku,

Terbayang bibir-bibir sahabat-sahabatku,

Mereka seru ayat-ayat cinta Tuhanku,

Dan mereka tidak pernah jemu,

Memimpin tanganku,

Memegang erat bahuku,

“Agar kau sentiasa berada di jalanNya Raihana,

Agar kau thabat dan istiqamah di jalanNya, Raihana.”

Kutundukkan wajahku,

Wajahku yang hina,

Menghadap Tuhan Yang Maha Esa.

Ya Tuhan,

Engkau kurniakanku ibu bapa yang menyeruku kepada agamaMu,

Engkau kurniakanku sahabat-sahabat yang mengingatiku kepadaMu,

Namun aku seperti manusia yang tidak mengenang budi,

Yang tidak tahu membalas dengan kemuliaan budi pekerti,

Aku tidak akur pada perintahMu,

Aku lalai dengan pesanan-pesanan mereka yang aku sayang,

Aku tidak menghargai nikmat-nikmat pemberianMu,

Aku manusia hina!

Aku manusia berdosa!

Ya Allah,

Masihkah ada ruang untukku?

Bulan yang amat mulia bakal tiba,

Dan jiwa ragaku masih kotor,

Jauh sekali aku mahu berada di landasan yang tidak Engkau redha

Jauh sekali aku mahu terus menerus berada dalam kelalaian

Jauh sekali aku mahu mati dalam keadaan hina dan berdosa

Ya Rahman,

Ujian dan dugaan yang Kau beri,

Jadikanlah kesemuanya seperti genggaman-genggaman tangan yang berjuta,

Yang memberikanku kesedaran disebabkan pukulan yang tak terhingga,

Amat sedih sekali nasibku,

Jika ujian dan dugaan yang besar ini masih tak mampu menyedarkanku.

Ya Allah,

Aku datang kepadaMu,

Mengharapkan rahmat kasih sayangMu,

Aku yakin,

Meskipun hatiku terlalu hitam,

Meskipun jiwaku terlalu rosak,

Dek kerana dosa dan salah silapku,

Aku yakin,

Aku masih berpeluang mendapatkan rahmatMu!

Aku yakin,

Kasih sayangMu terbentang luas seluas lautan!

Buatku.

Aku yakin Engkau masih sayang padaku.

Ampunilah aku Ya Ghofur,

Aku seorang pendosa.