I remember on the day the starting month of Ramadhan, I was frustated at myself because I missed my first morning of puasa without qiyamullail. And this 'frets' going on and on and I only, embarassingly managed to wake up maybe a day or two for qiyamullail during the first two weeks. But despite that disappointment, I tried to read as much of the quran as possible and perform dhuha during my leisure time, although sometimes I found it hard to squeeze myself into leisure because of kekangan and all the crap. I told myself that if I could watch 3 movies during the weekend or maybe even more, why can't I spend 10 to 15 minutes for my Creator. Astaghfirullahalazim. I was definitely being selfish. To whom? To myself, because my inner soul certainly needs her cleansing. I f I care enough to buy lots of chemicals to take care of my appearence, why shouldn't I care to nourish my soul with what has my beloved prophet peace be upon him told his followers to? Dhuha is another path for you to cleanse your inner soul. Your heart.
Alhamdulillah my fasting is going on smoothly. Alhamdulillah I think this year, my Ramadhan is different, somehow it's hard to explain why. It's just that I think I can feel the nikmat bulan ramadhan. Thoroughly. Many things have been put sense to me. All the very valuable ceramah and talks certainly do good and better on me, and I know that I have to be very bersyukur indeed with all thses blessings, alhamdulillah! I am so happy(:
I'm the type of person who really care about her sleeping hours and I know that healthy minds need at least 6 hours of sleeping. Before ramadhan, it is quite hard for me to tidur awal, because of the so many homeworks and studies that I've got to finish and although my dad, and even some of my collegues suggested that I wake up early and study in the morning, it's hard for me to coordinate myself into that time. I usually sleep by 1. And if I exceed that time, I would be very kalut and all, because I know tomorrow I'll be sleeping during class ;P My qiyamullail routine also had been dreadfully embarassingly decreased. I woke up at 5.30 or so and after going for bath you know that you'll be listening to the azan by then.
Oh well. Today is 26th of Ramadhan already. I should be asking myself, dah banyak doa Allahumma inna nauzubika minannar, belum? This the third phase right? So, we should like banyak2 pray so that we would escape from the hell fire. Alhamdulillah, the last ten of ramadhan, insyirah and I made our priority on qiyamullail, it's not like we haven't before but like I said, our 'alarm' only bunyi by 5.30. Insyirah said that she would be sleeping at Dorm N with Saff, because Saff wakes up by 3.30 a.m, and I said that well why not, I think that's a great idea because we also have planned that we wana study afterwards. So I reminded her to pray at our dorm and don't forget to wake fasyak and I up. So this last ten, alhamdulillah, we managed to wake up as early as 4.30 a.m., hehe what happened to 3? Well, 4.30 is okay. But last friday all of us form fives and form three were compulsory to attend the qiyam, with Abi being the imam for solat sunat tasbih, seriously, that was my first time (embarassingly) and wow, panjang sangat! But I really am greatful because although some of my friends have perform this solat before maybe at young age, at least I started mine at seventeen, eh no, I actually dah eighteen(!) ikut bulan Islam lah, I was born on the second of Syaaban(: Okay so eighteen. Because, some people perform their first tasbih prayer maybe at late twenties, or thirtees, or maybe at 70. No, I didn't say that to offend anyone. Same goes to other people who perform their tasbih prayer at the age of forty maybe, and he or she would be thinking the same way as I did, but he or she should also be greatful because they have at least prayed the tasbih prayer once in their lifetime. Alhamdulillah, let us perbanyakkan our amalan while we're alive(:
Ramadhan is about to pack his bags already. I could feel that this Ramadhan somehow means a lot to me. Ya Allah, so many, so many nikmat and rahmah that Allah gave to us this Ramadhan, Masha Allah. It's unlimited. Unlimited. Insya Allah, I will not stop wake up to qiyam until the last ramadhan. I hope for lailatul qadar. I hope He would grant me one. And I hope to bid the last goodbye to Ramadhan, in the most mannerable way. Ya Allah, panjangkanlah umurku sehingga Ramadhan akan datang. Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.
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