Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Unpredicted.

Please Raihana. Please. Don't suffocate me. I really, really need that air, the air of your beautiful soul. Wake up. Wake up. And let me breathe.
Well, you seemed to be curious of me, do you? Don't be Raihana. Don't look at me with that so-shocked big eyes of yours because I'm here already! I'm here! I know that you've been expecting me, I guess I just have to come early and meet you. Ha-ha! Look at you! So helpless, so insecure, so dumbfounded.. and yet, you've grown so fast, so fast indeed. You've grown taller! My, such a beautiful girl! No more Raihana that I used to met years ago, huh? What? What's that? You've been the same alright! Ha-ha! Shut that big mouth up honey! I don't give a well heck to whatever you're saying now, see? I came for a reason. You need me now. Look at you! You've cried for me, isn't that right baby? That's right. That's right. I don't want to stay any longer either. But what I want is that you listen to me. Yes, that's right. Just listen and do what I'm gonna tell you and then I'll leave you in peace. Yes honey, in peace indeed.

This is all your fault!! There's no way turning back, isn't there? Why? Why? Why me Raihana? Why me? I've been living in your shoes long enough! That smelly shoes of laziness, of lack of discipline, of lousyness, of whatever things that aren't right! I'm bored okay? I've got my own life! I've got my own future! You've changed a lot, yes, changed Raihana! I agree with her. She was all the way right! For the past 4 years and 2 months, all I could feel was exasperation, no, that's true, that I've learned a lot with you in those years, and honestly, I had fun too with you and your friends. But they are not the problem. You are! You are the problem! This is true that you've learned many many valuable and imperative things of your life throughout those years but some part of you. I don't know, they seemed to be not in the right place. I really want you back Raihana. The true you. I know she's still there somewhere. I know it. Please Raihana, please. Wake up. Wake up and let me breathe. Let me. Let me.

So you wanted peace huh? You wanted your peace now is it? That's good. You've learned to understand your situation now. One thing that I just got to tell you. One thing so that that girl won't suffer because of you!
You have to go back. Yes you heard me! Stand up and go back Raihana! Go back! Go back alright! YOU! You have to go back. Where to honey? Can't you remember at all? The slightest memory? Can't you remember that the times when you were younger and adulterated, if that word is suitable, ... can't you remember? Yes? So what is it? What is it that you remembered my child? And STOP CRYING LIKE A DAMN BABY! That's right. Speak to me. Speak to me clearly. Don't mumble. Speak. Speak.

Speak Raihana. Speak. Come on girl! I know that you wanted it too. I know that you missed those precious memories badly. I know that you are willing to let yourself into that. Into the page of lost years. The page inside the book of your life that you've once let it opened and tear it to million pieces. And now, she gave you the power Raihana. The power to call back those teared pieces. Those magically bautiful pieces of your life. And that is when you were twelve Raihana. Yes, when you were in year 6. That girl Raihana. That 5 feet 5 inches tall girl that you have forgotten. Yes, you've seen her before. In the mirror remember? Yes. That girl Raihana. That girl. Now wake up. Wake up Raihana.

STOP! STOP! STOP SHOUTING AT ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF ANIMAL! I KNEW I WAS WRONG! I knew. I knew B. I knew. Now, stop! Yes, H. Yes, I want to let myself into it. I want to let myself calling the missing pieces. Those, precious pieces. Yes. I want to be that girl back That twelve year old girl. I missed her. I missed her  H, I really do. Badly H. Badly. You've awaken me H. I'm awake now. You can breathe now H. You can breathe. And B, you were right. I called you sometimes, occasionally for some reason that I wasn't sure about. But now you had came and honestly, I was a bit scared, petrified of the way you just treated me. But I understand now why you did that. No hard feelings, really. Thank you. Thank you both of you. I realized now that I need to be inside that twelve year old girl. She was very special now I've remembered. So special to me now. And look. I've called those precious pieces. That page that I've torned is now back! Look! O Allah I'm so happy! I'm so happy now. Really. I'm so happy!. Lord, let me be in this way, forever. Guide me O Allah. Guide me. And forgive me Allah. No one forgive sins but You. And thank You Lord, for giving me two most wonderful thing in my life; a Brain and a Heart. Thank You Allah. Thank You. Now I'M AWAKE!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

26th February Twenty Ten To Nailah & Fazi

Happy Birthday My Friend, My Classmate, My Ex- Prep Mate, My Schoolmate, my Everything!!
Happy FABULOUSGORGEOUS Seventeen Nailah! Haha (: Semoga Panjang Umur and Murah Rezeki.

To my dearest adik usrah(: Happy Birthday DEARRR;DD Happy SWEETFANTASTIC Fifteen (:
Semoga Panjang Umur and Murah Rezeki!

May Allah Bless All of You With Showers of Blessings( ;

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Second and The Sixteenth, With Love(:

Today is Azimah and Nurul Jannah's Birthday.
Happy GORGEOUSGLAMOROUS 17th Birthday Babettes!
Haha, May Allah bless you guys with showers of blessings and semoga panjang umur & murah rezeki ( ;

Maulud Nabi ( :

Maulidur Rasul, 26th of February, 12 Rabiul Awwal1431 Hijrah
The Prophets Birthday, or Malidur Rasul: “Remembering his birth and deed“

“The most important part of Maulidur Rasul is remembering the prophet’s good deeds, his teachings, his wisdom and how he forgave his most bitter enemies.”

My friends, let us solawat and salam to our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. His hardships and sacrifes in spreading the word of Islam to all of us since ages ago should always be remembered.
Allahumma Solli 'Ala, Sayyidina Muhammad, ya Rabbi Solli 'Alaihi Wa Sallim (:

We're The MANIA-C Runners!

The sun shoned brightly and majestically above me. Sweats wet my forehead and I could feel the dripping salty water on my neck. I kept my hands covering my sunburnt eyes like saluting the commander infront of me while waiting for him to command the next task to my fellow peers and I. We were suffocated by tremendous heat. Sweats drenched us, before the real game.

What am i saying? Gosh Rai! Macam nak buat karangan bi plak,ehe. Okay so we had this merentas desa thing coming on. It's next week and my house, Ibn Batuta (yellow house) have practised last Monday and all of the sports houses have practised together on the real merentas desa track last Wednesday, AFTERNOON. Yes, imagine, all of us gathered around at the assembly field, under the shining bright-sun. Talk about WHOA! Thats some crazy thing to do! Pegh. But we still gather even though the temperature i think at that time must be around 38 degrees celcius (seriously, if i'm wrong, it doesn't matter. I'm just trying to emphasized our hawt condition ppl!) We all stand there i think for about twenty minutes to 30 minutes, strecthing ourselves, did simple exercises and waited for the most annoying people; the one who wore slippers to the field and the one who attended late. Talk about selfishness! Oh well.

So we continued our marathon, even though deep down i was like: Cmmon ppl, have a heart! We were like struggling sardines inside the sardine boiled tins! And I decided to run with Nabilah and Hanani, my fellow Batutaians, but apparently Nabilah have the mood to run on that hot day, so she passed us at half way of the track already. Hanani and I decided to run and brisk-walk all the way. The ladies run first then the lads, but Darwis was the first lad to over run us girls, Hanani and I were like "Whoa Darwis!". I ran too but i would stop for brisk-walking when i felt that my upper side stomach went hurt and so we let the dudes passed us, which we didn't even care because this was only a latihan. Teachers were sprawling guarding our ways from crazy drivers and motorcyclist, what i meant crazy is that because it's in the afternoon, your mood is just not as fresh as a flower that just bloomed. Haha. -okay so we ran and ran and finally managed to be in pieces and well, i'm quite proud to say that we managed to be one of the top fifteen runners! ehe. It's not a big thing (oho!) But the side effects empowered us when all of us went for the perarakan Maulidur Rasul yesterday (that would be another exciting new post) I could feel that my kaki were hurt as i walk with the others yesterday, yes, but i can't really see any bruises or anything just the feeling of pain. Oh well, i guess i just need to exercise more and loosened up the tghtened nuts and bolt on my muscles! Haha. But all in all we were like bersemangat gila. Especially the Batutaians! The top runners are from our sports house FYI!haha. Alhamdulillah, hee(: Oh well, all i can say is that Happy Running Batutaians! Next week is our last practice before the real thing, WOOT!WOOT! ehe. RUN BABY RUN DON'T EVER LOOK BACK, people!!:DD

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

As Long As You Had Fun, That What Mattered The Most

I don't see the relation between Joe Brooks and my post, but I don't know why I feel like putting him here

I was supposedly to write this post yesterday, right after i got back from ou. But then, things were not exactly as it planned to be. Oh well. So i went bowling yesterday (big deal, Rai), but it's really a big deal to me since it was my first time ever been to a bowling arena. The bowling place was okay, we went to one utama, so i guess the crowds aren't like those that u can find in ampang area (no offence). So i went there with my dad and my three other annoying sibs, ehe. At first i wasn't quite prepped and ready, well it's not like i was afraid to pick up the quite heavy metal ball, but mostly is because - which is quite ridiculous when i thought about it after the game- i was afraid of the people around me. Well, technically. I was hoping there were'nt so many crowds but instead it happened to be a bowling day for some families there. I was ,well, quite ashamed because i don't really know how to play it. Well, i was being a chicken fr no reason actually. Because it turned out to be the best thing ever in my life ,well for now actually. I had so much fun. Really, i did, we did. Raihan got three to four strikes and my lil bro razeen got two, i guess. And my dad, whoa. He was really amazing! And he didn't even wear the rental bowling shoes (which my dad thought it was very dirty and unhygenic to wear, but we sibs got to since we ore sandals and bro got his feet into hush puppies, i don't know why they (the 'bowling-assistant' dude) got against hush puppies, i mean cmmon1 It's a sneakers as well, but razeen still got to fit in into those red and green bowling shoes. Talk about it! -okay back to my story. Since we were going there for the first time, so we didn't really know which way to go when we turned on the left side to the new wing. My mom wasn't coming because she said that "I dont have the modd right now" but she told us the direction actually before we started the car engine - "it situated on the upper floor, the new wing alright!"- she had once went there with he business acquaintances and her boss when they had this formal outing or something- only then we realized that we should've asked mama the details since the new wing is quite big and it's not like we've been there for the second time! aiyoo! that was all i could say when we were busied ourselves searching for the directory plan. But then as my sibs and I were busying scuttering around like mad chickens, my dad decided that the best way is to ask the cleaner near us- she was mopping at that time- and she actually gave us straight answer "oh bowling ah? tingkat empat. atas sana. pergi kiri depan sana, naik atas, ada bowling"- only just to be sure, my dad kept repeating the question "mcm mana nk pergi bowling" to her, but i think it had made her annoyed to us.

As we reached the fourth level, all i could see eas people scuttering around, only that they weren't like mad chickens but proper mannered people, busied buying movie tickets. Oh so the bowling alley is near the movies. Cool. I spotted new movies just 'arrived' - percy jacksons, sherlock holmes, the legend, etcetera - and i was also hoping that i wasn't going to stumbled into any familiar faces. it's not like i don't want to meet you peeps. It's just that at that particular time, i don't have the courage to meet you guys. What if i happened to stumbled a bestie of mine and he or she asked me "Where are you heading to Rai? " "Oh nowhere interesting really, just plain old bowling alley" "Cool, mind if i join u?" which would be a full embarassment because u guys might found out that i didn't know how to bowl. THAT WAS HOW LOW I WAS. When i thought about it over and over again, i was like, "How could u Rai. Your friends ARE NOT LIKE THAT. So what if u don't know how to bowl. Why should your own friends laugh their heads off just because u can't bowl?" I was actually feeling better as i thought about it. And i was really enjoying myself with my family. My dad bought us four games but we left early, because we needed to buy something else and it was almost 1 pm. But most importantly I had fun on that day. It was very lively to me -although i didn't get a single strike
-,-" - but it doesn't matter. As long as you had fun, that what mattered the most ( :

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Picnik-ing ; My Current Obsession

I don't know why I've been crazy about editting photos fr my myspace recently. It is like it empowered me and let myself into it which is quite wasting time, i tell you. Oh well, sometimes u needed a break, right? To tell u the truth i wasn't really a fan of photography and editting photos, or any other related to it but suddenly when i see my sister Rayyan was busying herself editting gorgeous photos with Picnik, i could say that her work was a fab! So i decided to give it a shot. Then somehow, i'm obsessed with it. Pegh, haha. Oh well, u can see my masterpiece in myspace. I just need a lot of more photos of interesting people to occupy the space in my photo album. But i really really should be focussing with my studies. Cmoon, Rai, you know how much is your result in intervensi right? Oh yeah, fyi people, i would like to tell you my intervensi result, so be prepared (and it's not like i'm proud of it, okay?):

I've managed to get number 6 in class, alhamdulillah.
and number 7 in my badge (i was in the 6th position before Su got it, well, it's not like it mattered most.. well yeah, it matters to me, but she deserved it better than i did. it was fair and square, congratulations babe!(: ).
And my percentage was A- .
And i've managed to get 7 a's. (last year was 8 a's, 8 a's then 9 a's), so i guess, i have to work harder than i thought (duh!)
and this time, I've got a D for my add maths, which i'm so not proud of it, but anis told me i should bersyukur coz there were many other failed in their add maths. alhamdulillah. she told me that i shouldn't be crying bcoz we all know that we'd been studying in the last minute and we could do better in the next exam, which is in the end of March (our diognostik).
And... there's no more to mention, thank you.

People please pray fr our success okay?
Mama keeps telling me: You need to get 11 a's + raihana. no less than that.
In Sya Allah, I will. In Sya Allah I will.

Oh yeah and a very Happy Chinese New Year!! gong xi fa cai(:

Friday, February 12, 2010

5 CNY Holidayyys!

Salam to respectful readers.

Okay, so CNY is getting near. Today is 12th already so I bet Wendy will be preparing like crazy for the honourable celebration la eh? Haha. Good luck to you then babe! Okay. So my school gave us five days of Chinese New Years holiday, which is cool I guess bcz our school have no chinese students and yet we get to celebrate CNY as well, haha. WOOHOO!~ Oh well, i've actually planned loads for you respectful readers, ehe. And most important of all, i've got lots of important stuff to tell and share and i would like to higlight here that i'm going to study, STUDY and STUDY during this very short holidays, which means i'm not going to post 22 posts during this holiday (like what i did last time), well, my target is range between 5 to 8 posts. Not more than ten (!). So, i would like to ask you guys a favour by tegur-ing me if you see me onlining non-stop in myspace. Help me, can you? Haha. Please and thank you!

Seriously, I don't know what's my motive by putting this picture, =,="

Monday, February 1, 2010

I'll Be By Your Side, You Know I'll Take Your Hand

The Climb, My Climb and Yours

I've decided to write this post today, i don't know why but i've been longing to but i haven't got the right time to post this. So now i have the time to write, all praise is to Allah for giving me the chance to breathe again in this very beautiful morning and for giving me the opportunity to perform my Subuh prayer this morning, read the Quran and sit infront of the pc to write this veryvery meaningful post. Alhamdulillah.

Well, i've been dreading to write a post about aspirations and hopes, dreams, and goals in the future. I've always have this 'feeling' everytime i encountered the world 'Life', 'Dreams', and 'Goals'. That 'feeling' is like no other feeling such as feeling of love or tender, but it's a feeling that you will instantly felt like you are on the clouds, jumping while floating on the air and trying to avoid the passing birds on the opposite direction and the thunder that makes your heart scattered into million pieces but you are trying as hard as you could to overcome those obstacles untill you managed to land safely on the last cloud, the biggest cloud that you've ever stepped on, the cloud that got words written with capital letters, bold and large on it, (so you don't have to wear your contacts) : THIS IS IT. YOUR FINAL DESTINATION. CONGRATULATIONS!
Haha, so much for the explanation. But you get it, don't you? What I'm trying to say is that big cloud is your final goal, i don't mean that it's your final destination, literally, but it's the final destination in achieveing whatever your hopes, dreams and goals are. And each and every goal or dreams or hopes that you're floating and jumping to, will going to have a different big cloud of their own. And doesn't mean that you can only float and jump to reach your final destination, but you can also grab that pair of Nike of yours and run with the wind, if you run as fast as possible the 'floatness' would not be all jumpy and floaty like a bubble that you make with that bubble blowing machine but it would be compatible enough for you to run as fast as you can to get to the big cloud as soon as possible. And never mind the Nike shoes, any other shoes are fine enough, haha.

But before you want to get on to that starting point, i mean the smallest cloud on the west, you must need to climb on to that beanstalk right? I understand that would take quite half a year or so but it's okay to give it a shot. The main thing here is that you manage to climb on to that smallest cloud on the west so that you can float or jump or run to that biggest cloud on the east. The climb here is your starting point of the adventure of your life. The journey includes climbing the beanstalk, step on that small cloud, and running towards that big cloud. It may take a day a month or even a year to get there for all you care, but at least you know that you've started from the beginning, and know when to end. I know where I start, and I realized that I haven't really put up with the challenges that I encounter during my journey to the middle cloud; that's between the west and the east. I'm seventeen now, and I should know how to polish my skills and brush up my Nike to get to the big cloud. My climb has been started since I was seven, it has been almost ten years now, and my final destination for this particular dream is now. The final year of my highschool. That's it. My goal in achieving straight a's + in my Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. My hopes to see that tears of happiness and be given that joyous hugs from the two most important human being on my world. My dream to become one of the most successful human being.

All I have to do now is to continue my journey.  On the 22nd of November would be the 8th cloud and on the 16th of December would be the 9th and the on March 2011 would be the 10th, the big cloud. And then, I would start all over and pack another bag and gears to climb another beanstalk. That's my climb, what's yours?