Firstly, what I would like to emphasize now is that, I was wrong last night. I was wrong because I said that I'm not happy, I was upset on something that when I thought about it today is ridiculous, I should not, ever, sacrifice my happiness just because I wanted it to be, you know, get sacrificed. I was of course entirely happy before I put myself into a situation that you can find mostly were the sadbugs. I can be happy if I want to and I can be entirely otherwise if I want to also. It's all depends on me. It's all depends on what I chose. And last night I had chose that my life is a downturn. And not just last night, but also the other nights. I didn't realize that I had forget about one most important thing. I had forget - Him.
A good friend of mine told me, "you should go and search for joybugs", I plastered a smile when I read that. Yeah of course, a joybug would do the trick. And then I told him that I have to make a new post in my blog : A quest for happiness. When I think of that now I should have told my friend that I shouldn't be 'questing' for it because he doesn't know that I created my own sad ambience. I read sad novels, I watch sad movies, I guess all of it influenced me. So maybe, just maybe all of it makes me sad. But I could always put on a happy movie, I could always listen to a happy song. It's all my fault. I don't blame anyone because it's all my fault.
Do you know why I said that I had forget Him? Yes, I'd forget. And I was disgusted with myself. Baba said that why shouldn't you be happy? If I put on a sad face as if I had the biggest problems in the world and when I sighed at most occasions, he would say that " aren't you grateful of what you have?" At first I would say to myself, why is it everytime I sighed it had to do with me being ungrateful to Him? I mean like duh! Why should I be sad because of stupid things when He had gave me a lot. I don't want to talk about my problems- oh wait, so called problems because it is not as important as my life that needs happiness and joy. I should always tell Him my problems, then I know that I'll have 100% happiness guarantee.
Yeah now you know how am I wrong. I've forgotten that Allah will always be there for me. I shouldn't be unhappy because when I'm sad, I must always tell him because then I'll be happy. It's like you shouldn't be sad all the time, because when you feel like you are having a downturn, you always turn to Him. The quicker you returm the faster you'll gained your happiness.